Sometimes We Get Lonely

One thing I have noticed about returning to the US for an extended period of time is how incredibly lonely it is. I'm teaching full-time at the moment, visiting partner churches on weekends, and have spent more time with family than in the past four years combined, so the loneliness is not from lack of people. Rather, the loneliness is much like what many expats feel when they first move overseas. People everywhere, but an astounding lack of people who get us.

I haven't lived in the USA for twelve years. This is the longest stretch I have gone during this time without leaving the nation's borders. I'm the girl armed with the passport and visa (and I don't mean the credit card kind), who has no problem navigating airports and foreign public transit systems, is an expert at packing a suitcase, and has a thirst for adventure. I'm a missionary who strives to be salt and light, and wants the world to know the hope I possess that they so desperately need. I'm the teacher who loves that moment when students get it, wants to share my love of reading and learning, and is completely amazed that I get to share the love of Jesus with my students.

But I'm also the girl who no longer knows her passport country. There are cultural references I don't get, commercials I've never seen, poplar songs I have never heard. In many ways, because my world had been so expanded, I no longer share many of the values Americans (and southerners in my case) hold dear. I don't want the big house (I'd settle for a kitchen big enough for two people to cook in at the same time), the two cars (I utterly despise having to drive), or the white picket fence. I don't understand why people tell me to be safe in Prague, when they live in a country where you can't even go to a movie theater without fear of getting shot. I honestly could care less about guns and hunting and second amendment rights and the only football that interests me is the kind Americans call soccer. International experience causes me to disagree strongly with many about immigration reform and how to treat people who are different than us.

And I have stories that I long to share...but who has the time to listen? And when people do listen, the questions are always about what I miss from America. Very seldom has anyone asked what I miss about Prague. And honestly, I miss so much...I miss my family there, my job, my flatmates, my friends and co-workers, my church, my city...my life. I haven't lived in this county for twelve years. There are not many friends left here.

And I can only imagine that other expats and missionaries feel the same way. All, while those of us who return to the States are glad to see those her (please don't think I'm not thrilled to see you), but sometimes we get lonely and just want someone who gets us.

That Team I'm Cheering For Sunday

Normally if you asked my about my favorite football team, I would probably stare at you blankly, give some answer about being bribed with amazing sugar cookies to cheer for the Green Bay Packers, or give you a facetious answer that I go for FC Barcelona (iVisca Barca!).

This year, however, my answer is slightly different (and I'm actually tempted to watch the Super Bowl, albeit, not tempted enough to actually to stay up and watch it. It will be the middle of the night here, after all.) Why do I care, you ask? This year one of the teams is much more then a team. It represents so many things I love.

It represents summer vacations, fish and chips from Ivers (and feeding the seagulls there), and salt water taffy. It represents crabs (that may have been dropped into my hand by my uncle) and sea glass. It represent Alki Beach, the Space Needle, and ferries. It represents cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and family reunions. It represents the destination of cross-country road trips, flights, and train trips. It represents rain and the smell of the sea. It represents the place my father went to college and the place where my parents were engaged. It represents my favorite city in the USA.

Why, yes, I'm cheering for the Seahawks. It's my family's team. Proud to show my Seattle roots this weekend.

Birthday Gift Fun

My birthday was last week, and while I'm still sad that it has not yet been made into a national holiday, I did have a great day. I have two wonderful parents who definitely contributed to the amazingness of the day.

First of all, flowers make any day a good day--but they make birthdays extra special. My dad picked out a bouquet of carnations for me.

I love my plan book...and my notebook for notes during meetings...and my calender...but I'm always losing one or the other. So, I have been looking for a teacher's planner that would combine these things. Then, one of my friends pinned this amazing teacher planner on Pinterest from the blog, A Modern Teacher. It was love at first sight, and it was then I realized that if I convinced my parents to print it for my birthday, it would make a wonderful gift.

What I loved about this planner, it that there are so many extra pages--calenders, weekly schedules, weekly lesson plan templates, month at a glance and recap pages, and the Common Core Standards--I could really take this planner and turn it into exactly what I need! It comes with both PDF and PPT, making it really easy to personalize it for you!

I was excited a few weeks later to see that A Modern Teacher had created a Classroom Organizer, with checklists, meeting notes pages, parent/teacher conference forms, etc. to match the planner. As with the planner, it comes with PDF and PPT, so it can be edited to fit your needs! So, I had to get that as well. My teacher mother loved it and was very excited to put it together for my birthday gift.

Fun bag my mom got to go with it--I chose the pictures to add

My planner and my organizer

A peek inside--meal planner and week at a glance pages

Student and class information pages in the Classroom Organizer

I love the planner and organizer and really am so excited to use them this next school year...maybe this will help me to be more organized that I normally am! 

By the way, no, I was not asked or paid to tell you about my new planner--I was just so excited to get it, that I had to share! And if your a teacher and you think it looks as awesome as I think it does (or as "hunky-dory" as my fourth graders would say), then check them out at Teachers Pay Teachers. The planners and organizers comes it quite a few different styles, so you can also choose the style that fits you best!

My parents also gave me school supplies--pens, whiteout, notebooks, etc.--to go along with the rest of the gift. Can I just say, they know the way to a teacher's heart! I loved it! All in all, it was a wonderful birthday!

Why Hello Culture Shock! or Why this place is NOT my home

I've had an enjoyable time visiting the US this summer. If anything my visit has reinforced my personal belief the US is a perfectly wonderful country to visit, I fail to understand why they would choose to live here...or call it home...but that may be just me. :P But a couple things have caught me off guard that I knew in the back of my mind to expect but wasn't really expecting it to catch me off guard as much as it did.
For instance, my parents live in a small town in the South, so people are friendly. I mean, REALLY friendly--like strangers smiling at me, saying hello, and then sitting down to start a conversation with me friendly. The first couple times that random people said hello and asked how I was, I thought I knew them and forgot who they were. Then I realized that no I didn't know them and they were just being friendly (or overfriendly depending on what you're used too). Then, yesterday, while my mom and I were at the bank waiting for my grandfather (he recently moved to VA from WA, so he's moving all his accounts) this guy sits down and starts up a conversation with us covering everything from Obama to Romney to the heat to ABC stores to pretty wine bottles to West Virginia to real estate to the price of soft drinks to Christian being filled with the Spirit (that's the other thing--almost everyone here claims that their Christians). It was weird....then I was buying construction paper and sharpies (AND TWISTABLES FOR MY KIDDOS!!!!) and this other guy started up a conversation with me. Weird! I mean, little old Czech ladies talk to me all the time, but most of the time they're just talking to talk and don't expect me to say anything (not that I could, since I have no clue what they're telling me!) I've probably come across as a snob to half the town because I keep forgetting that people here are friendly like that!
Another thing--everyone is LOUD! I mean, REALLY LOUD! I don't know how anyone can think around here, they're all so loud! And everyone speaks English, so I want to listen to all their conversations, so it's almost like language overload.
Also, the amount of choice is overwhelming. I ran into this after my first year in Guatemala when my mother told to get ice cream while I was at the store. I had to call her back to ask her to be more specific. They had an entire aisle! so, yesterday my mom asked me to get the ranch salad dressing while we were grocery shopping. You would think that would be simple...or not. Did you know that there is lite ranch, fat free ranch, bacon ranch, buttermilk ranch, cucumber ranch, peppercorn ranch, and original ranch (I apologize to any varieties of ranch I have left out. It was not intentional!). Who knew there were so many types of ranch! :S
The final shock to me was one that has been building slowly over the past decade. I'm different. I've lived in five different countries since I was eighteen. I love Canada--watching "Anne of Green Gables" or "Flashpoint" make me homesick! I miss the Atlantic Coast and visits to Halifax and PEI! I watched the "From Sussex and I Know It" YouTube video multiple times, because, hey, I lived in Sussex! For four years! I love Canada! And just as much or even more, depending on the day, I love Guatemala. I am a chapina en mi corazon! I miss active volcanoes and black sand beaches. I miss strolling the streets of Antigua, CAG, and the people I called family. I miss worshiping in Spanish as church! I miss Guatemala. Even more, my entire family misses Guatemala. At one point or another, all of us have called it home. It's a place that will forever be home to me. I also occasionally miss good Korean food. I only lived in Korea for a semester while in university, but I loved it while I was there.
Don't be alarmed. There is a part of me that will always love the US--especially Virginia, the place my family has lived since the 1600s. I am a Virginia girl...it's just that Virginia isn't home anymore. It's the place of my past, not my future. Up until now, Virginia has always still been a little home. This summer I have realized, I don't live here anymore. I'm a visitor here. I don't belong here, and I probably will not live in this country long term ever again. It's not where I belong. Not that I belong in the Czech Republic or Guatemala or Canada or Korea or anywhere on earth for that matter. Thankfully, God has a place for me where I do belong--and someday I'll be in my real home. Until that day, I'll claim the definition of home an a picture my mom gave me for my birthday yesterday. It has all these shoes on it and reads, "Home is where you hang your heels." After all, every woman needs a good pair of heels and a place to hang them! :)

By the way--my mother jokingly suggested a picture that read, "Home is where my mom is." I vetoed it and she understood...I think...
Actually, my parents are very good and have made a point of telling everyone, "Rebecca is VISITING us for the summer." :)